


Finding You

by Chenology345



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Bisexuality, F/M, Forgiveness, Friendship, Guilt, Interspecies Relationship(s), LGBTQ Character, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Moving On
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chenology345/pseuds/Chenology345
Summary: Sequel to Away. After many sleepless nights due to the emotional turmoil from his unresolved conflict with Finnick, Nick decides to seek him out to make things right again. Along the way, he learns about his own personal feelings for Finnick.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics = Nick's thoughts.

Nick laid awake on Judy's bed, with his favorite gray bunny curled up by his side, sleeping soundly. He listened to the faint footsteps of Judy's neighbors and wondered what could they be doing up this late at night. After coming up with several scenarios, his mind reminded him that he too was strangely awake and proceeded to mentally facepaw him. He then grabbed his phone from the nightstand to check the time.

_It better have been at least 15 minutes._

It was 2:34 am. It had only been 10 minutes since he last checked his phone.

" _GODDAMNIT!"_

It was official, Nick was having another sleepless night which was going to be followed by another shitty, exhausting day of work. Giving up any hopes of sleep, NIck decided to scroll through his photos since his phone was already in his paw. Nick being a bit of a camera whore, he knew he had plenty of of photos to entertain him. He smiled as he scrolled through all his photos of successful pranks at the precinct, group photos of his fellow police officers and him, and coupley photos of Judy and him. However, he felt his heart stop when he came across one photo. A selfie of a displeased Finnick wearing the elephant onesie with the hood off, and Nick right behind him smiling as widely as possible. It was taken right after their first scam with the elephant onesie, which was a huge success in Nick's opinion. As the memories of that day started to fill his mind, so did a burning feeling in his heart. He quickly put the phone away, hoping the burning pain would stop. It didn't.

He let out a quiet snarl, letting out some of the frustration and crankiness in him. His right ear pricked up as he heard some squirming from his right. Afraid he woke up Judy, he quickly looked down to his right, and saw Judy twitching her nose before resuming her usual calm breathing. He could feel her chest continuously moving up and down against his side. His burning pain waned down as his muzzle contorted into a smile. This was probably one of the few good things about staying awake. He got to witness little adorable moments like this.

He felt lucky to have met her, befriended her, and now dating her. She truly changed his life for the better. Her genuine belief that he was much more than just a shifty fox motivated him to become something else besides a con artist. A police officer, and not just any police officer, but the first fox police officer in Zootopia. He never would've imagined his life to go in that direction, almost the complete opposite from his previous profession. He thought this was the kind of stuff that could only happen in movies. It amused him how funny life can work like that sometimes.

With not much to do during another long night, he decided to go through a mental slideshow of their relationship. It was definitely one of great passion.

The first day they met, they hated each other. Judy thought he was a shifty, no-good fox who didn't care about anyone but himself while Nick thought she was an uppity, ignorant bunny blinded by her own self-righteousness. As they grew to know each other, their hearts did a complete 180 and they fell in love with each other. Nick remembered the exact moment when his heart realized it. It was when Judy handed him the application to be a cop. In that very moment of disbelief that someone had actually thought he should be a cop was when his heart screamed out her name: Judy Hopps.

Unfortunately, right after that internal declaration of love, Judy said some nearly unforgivable words about predators, which led to their break up and the three months of separation. Strangely enough, that period of time only served to allow his love for her to bloom. Sure, he cursed her for the offensive, specieist words said during the press conference. Yet, his heart longed for her, and thus his desire to be with her only grew. It was a tortuous combination of emotions Nick that would kill him during the day and keep him up at night. It wasn't until Judy came back to him and apologized that his heart felt right again.

He wanted Judy right away, and she must've returned those feelings as well. Right after they fully exposed Bellweather for the conniving sheep she was, they let down all their walls and let themselves become one that night at Judy's apartment.

He essentially moved in after that night, and he tried to spend every waking moment with her. When Judy went to work, Nick would often stay in her apartment. He knew he should've done some cons with Finnick, and he went once in awhile, but he didn't want to disappoint her by continuing to scam mammals, and frankly, he couldn't stay away from her smell. Once work was done for the day, she would return home right away, and they would not be able to keep their paws away from each other. That's why it was tough for both of them when Nick eventually had to leave her for a year to go off to the police academy.

While he was at the police academy, they would text every day and video chat every week. Every once in a while, Judy and Nick would have time to visit each other for one night, and they made sure to make those moments count. Their fellow friends, classmates, and coworkers would often comment on their disheveled fur and exhaustion the following day.

After his graduation, Nick moved back in with Judy, and their relationship rekindled. It was better this time, because Nick could join Judy at work. At work, any form of public displays of affection were frowned upon. So of course, they engaged in private displays of affection. It ranged from holding paws under the table to making out at the backseat of their police cruiser or the supply closet. It was definitely a good time, and Nick cherished hose memories. However, like most relationships, the honeymoon phase had to come to an end and they reached the point where passionate moments like those were rare. They simply lived with each other, chatted with each other, discussed taxes with each other, watched shitty movies with each other, and other normal things that long-term couples do.

Nick thought it was nice, it was fine, maybe a little boring that they reached this point, but he figured that's what every long-term relationship eventually comes to. They become that normal, boring couple that occasionally bicker. He was for the most part glad that they reached that point. In a way, it was like they reached pivotal step in their relationship, and that was enough for him, usually.

Sometimes though, he missed the spark that they used to have. There would be moments in time where he wondered if he actually still loved Judy, but then he would squash those thoughts. He told himself that he shouldn't have those kind of thoughts. Considering all the things she did for him, he thought he would be a terrible mammal not to love her.

He checked his phone again. It was 3:05 am.

Nick felt that nagging, burning sensation in his heart return again, but stronger than ever. He pressed his paw into his chest. Tonight wasn't the first time he had this feeling. In fact, it started happening around the same time the honeymoon phase with Judy was over. He wasn't sure how to describe it. The best he could do was refer to it as a hodgepodge of shit, shit, and more shit.

_Fuck this._

Nick got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom, making sure to quietly close the front door behind him. He arrived at the sink and looked into the mirror. He hated what he saw and splashed water on his face. He looked back up in the mirror, and saw the same thing. He let out a snarl and started splashing face repeatedly. Despite his attempts, when he looked back at the mirror another time, he saw the same thing once again.

_What the fuck! Why do I keep seeing this? And why can't I get rid of this feeling in my heart? I just want to be able to sleep again..._

He shook his head repeatedly and felt his eyes welling up. He finally had to admit it. Weeks and weeks of denial, he hoped the feeling would eventually go away, but it just kept coming back. His reflection had always told him the answer to his question, but he refused to believe it. But after a week of insomnia, his resolve deteriorated and had to admit that he saw an angry Finnick always standing behind him.

He felt his heart let out a brief sigh of relief as he admitted to himself the guilt he has been harboring all this time for Finnick. He was able to stow it away for the longest time, justifying it with the passion he felt with his relationship with Judy. With their relationship calming down though, it allowed his guilt to come back to the forefront of his mind and heart. Tears streamed down his face as he let the guilt take over his body.

He couldn't help but imagine how much Finnick must hate him for this. To Finnick's eyes, it must've looked like that Nick just left him for a better partnership. It must've looked like that all those years they worked together looked like it meant nothing to Nick. It must've looked like all the praises he had for Finnick were empty words. To Finnick, he fulfilled every stereotype a fox: shifty, manipulative, and selfish. He thought how ironic it was that he was one of the few foxes to break the glass ceiling by becoming a police officer, and yet he was the most stereotypical fox. Nick punched the wall in utter frustration, angry at himself for being the most hypocritical mammal he could ever be to Finnick. He wondered if Finnick could ever forgive him.

With that thought came a different feeling. He looked back at the mirror, seeing the angry Finnick once again. He reached his paw out towards the mirror, placing it where Finnick was.

_Finnick…_

He felt his heart yearning to see Finnick. It was strange, he had never felt it so strongly before. It felt like it would not be satisfied until Nick was within Finnick's presence and able to see him with his own eyes. However, this was soon interrupted by another feeling.

_No...no...no way, I can't, I can't see him._

He looked up at the mirror and saw Finnick shaking his head and walking away. That was enough for him to utter out a gasp. He then started feeling his whole body shake as he grappled with this sudden fear.

_There's no way, there's no way he'll forgive me. I can't see him. It's too risky._

Nick had always known in the back of his mind that it would take quite a miracle for Finnick to forgive him for what he did. However, it wasn't until just now that he realized how much was at stake for him. At its current stage, Nick knows their friendship has probably been damaged almost to the point of no return. Still, it leaves some room for hope that perhaps someday, it can be fixed. However, if he ever saw Finnick again, and Finnick refused to forgive him, then it would be the definite end of their friendship. And Nick absolutely could not have that. He couldn't let this friendship fail. He couldn't let Finnick fall out of his life. He just couldn't.

"Nick?"

Nick sharply turned around, and saw a sleepy Judy, her fur all ruffled up, standing by the bathroom door.

"Oh Judy, you scared me."

Judy gave him a tired smile and rolled her eyes.

A concerned look appeared on her face and she asked, "Nick, why are you up? Come back to bed, we have work in 3 and a half hours."

His ears drooping, he confessed, "I…I can't sleep."

He could see Judy's eyes widen, beating back her drowsiness, and showing concern for Nick.

"What's wrong Nick? I noticed you haven't been sleeping lately."

He rubbed his right arm, reluctant to tell Judy.

She walked towards him and placed a paw on the side of his muzzle affectionately.

She said in a gentle but firm tone, "Please Nick, I just want to help you, but I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on."

He looked at her in the eyes, and he knew he couldn't hide it any longer. He hated to see her worry for him, it added to the tremendous amount of guilt he was already feeling.

So he confessed. He told her about his guilt over abandoning Finnick. During his confession, she stayed quiet. She made sure to listen intently and to rub his arm in support when she thought he needed it. He appreciated that. She instinctively knew what to do when someone is in pain. It was one of reasons she made a great cop, and in general, a wonderful mammal. It was during this time that he was reminded once again why he loved her.

"Wow Nick, that is...quite a lot that you're going through right now."

"Yup... I'm... I'm not sure what to do."

"You need to go see him."

"But... work, I've just started being a cop for a few months. It'll look bad if I take time off to see him now."

She smiled, "I'll talk to Chief Bogo, no need to worry."

"But…," he gave a sly smile, "you won't have a partner, and of course there's no partner as good as me."

She chuckled, "Heh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. Now can you finally just admit to me that you're scared."

He gave a smile, and put his paws up as if he was surrendering.

"I'm scared that he'll hate me."

She gave him a comforting smile and grabbed his paws. She started rubbing them with her thumb gently for a few seconds, not saying a word. Nick could feel his anxiety evaporating away as she did that.

She finally then said, "I'm sure... that it's going to be tough to go through it. But you two were really close friends. I'm sure if you're genuine about your apology, then he can find it in his heart to forgive you. It may not be right away but...I'm sure he will. You just gotta take the first step."

Feeling some resolve in his heart, he said, "You're right, I shouldn't be a coward. I'll go see him tomorrow."

"That's my fox. I love you Nick."

"I love you Judy."

They gave each other a quick kiss, and embraced each other.

_Finnick..._


	2. Chapter 2

After talking with Judy, he felt the burning pain easing down and was able to get a few hours of sleep. Those hours of sleep seemed to go quickly, as he soon woke up to the sound of Judy getting ready for work at around 5:45 am.

He weakly used his noodle arms to push himself up into a sitting position. He then stretched and let out a yawn.

Judy noticed and put her paw over her mouth, "Oh shit, sorry, did I wake you up? I tried not to since you're not going to work today."

Nick yawned again and rubbed his eyes. He blinked his eyes several times until his vision became clear again.

Nick said, "Don't worry about it, I should be awake now anyways. I want to catch Finnick before he goes off for a scam."

She pointed at the coffee maker, "I prepared you some coffee, I figured you need it for your big day. Don't worry there's at least 4 cups."

He glanced at the very full coffee maker, "You know me so well Carrots."

"Unfortunately," she grinned. He smirked back at her.

He managed to escape the warm, enticing covers on his bed and head over to the coffee maker. He poured himself a coffee into his bunny mug and started sipping it. He watched as Judy stared at her standing mirror, taking a few minutes, like she does every morning, to ensure that her police uniform was at utmost perfection.

After she was done, she turned around to face him and asked, "How do I look?"

"Like always, you look perf...oh wait, what's that on your right cheek?"

Judy started looking at the mirror again, "Huh?"

Nick rushed to her and planted a kiss on her right cheek.

After he pulled back, she smiled and rolled her eyes, "That was so damn cheesy, you would make a perfect mouse."

Nick leaned down to her eye level, "You know you love me."

She teased, "Ehh, maybe a little."

He rolled his eyes and kissed her in the forehead. Giggles escaped from her mouth.

Nick then said, "You remember what to say to the chief?"

"Nick is sick, blah blah blah, he's a wimp blah blah blah, he won't be here for a few days. Yeah I got it slick."

She winked at him.

She then looked at her watch, "Oh shoot, I better get going!"

She gave Nick a quick kiss on the cheek, "Bye!"

Before he even had a chance to wave goodbye, she ran out and slammed the door behind her. He shrugged and faced the coffeemaker again.

_Well time to finish the rest of this coffee._

* * *

Nick had finished every drop of coffee, showered, dried and brushed his fur, and put on his usual green button up, red tie, and brown slacks. He felt the caffeine starting to work its magic and felt somewhat awake.

With his mental capacity slowly returning, he tried thinking of a good apology to Finnick. However, each one he came up with seemed worse than the one before. This gave the opportunity for the little voice inside him to start casting some doubts into him, making him think that this whole plan was going to be a disaster. Almost right away, he started feeling the burning pain in his heart, and it was stronger than ever.

He knelt down on the ground, his paw pressing against his chest.

_God, the pain, it hurts._

Nick managed to climb onto his bed and curl up next to a pillow. Sweat flowed down his head as he repeatedly took deep breaths until the pain subsided. He let out a sigh of relief with the pain gone for now. He was also left behind a stronger sense of determination.

_No I got to do this, I gotta do this for me, and more importantly, I gotta do this for Finnick. No holding back._

With this new mindset, he was ready to go.

* * *

Nick got on the bus to go to the alleyway where Finnick normally parked his van.

_Ugh this is so much worse than the police cruiser._

The bus was packed, mammals trying to get to work and the homeless trying to get a nap session in the seats. He rolled his eyes and found a spot where he was able to hold onto a handle by a seat. He looked out the window and let his mind drift into the past.

* * *

**-3.5 YEARS AGO-**

"I thought you were going to find two twin-sized mattresses, one for each one of us." Finnick said angrily, an annoyed look plastered on his face.

Nick, panting, laid the queen-sized mattress onto the back of the van.

Nick took a few moments to catch his breath. He looked up at Finnick and saw no mercy from his glare. With all his patience gone from looking for a decent mattress, he found himself getting exponentially annoyed with Finnick by the second.

Nick snapped, "You know, I would think my partner would at least be a little fucking grateful that I carried this mattress all the way from the fucking dump."

"And I thought my partner would come through with the tasks that he fucking assigned himself," Finnick snapped back.

"Well this is the only one I could find!"

"Well try harder!"

"I'm not fucking going out there again! Stop being a fucking shithead and just deal with it!"

Finnick stared down Nick and growled. Nick crossed his arms and glared back with the same ferocity.

Their staring contest lasted ten seconds before Finnick muttered, "Fine, whatever," and went to the driver's seat.

Nick waited for the satisfaction that usually came with winning over another mammal. It never came. Instead he just felt this irritating, burning feeling in his heart. A feeling that he knew that won't go away until he found two twin-sized mattresses. He looked at back of the driver's seat and saw Finnick's ear peek out on top. He felt his whole body ache and his heart's desire to go back to the dump grew and grew. He tried to resist it but it was to no avail. His heart was persistent.

He clenched his fists and muttered, "Goddamnit," before he stormed off towards the dump.

**-6 HOURS LATER-**

Nick walked back to the van, just a block away. He searched long and hard all over the dump for two twin-sized mattresses. There just simply wasn't any. He hung his head low and his tail dragged along the ground. He felt defeated. He was a little surprised to feel very strongly about this. He never had a failure that he couldn't just brush off a few minutes afterwards. The only thing that was different was that Finnick was involved. He briefly wondered what that meant, but then he saw he was already back at the van.

He knocked on the back of the van and Finnick opened it.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Finnick snarled.

"Trying to find two fucking mattresses for you," Nick growled back. Nick clenched his eyes, expecting to hear a tirade of anger from Finnick. He didn't. He looked up and was surprised to see a shocked expression on Finnick's face.

"You... actually went back?" Finnick asked.

"Yeah," Nick said quietly.

Finnick started rubbing his left elbow, "Oh. You didn't have to."

Nick put his paws in his pockets and kicked a pebble on the ground, "Nah, it's fine. I felt like I should've. And I'm willing to try again tomorrow."

Finnick said, "Oh, well don't, because..." He swung open the door to reveal the back of the van. The queen-sized mattress was set at the very middle of the back of the van with a clean bed sheet on top. There were two sets of blankets and pillows opposite of each other on top of the mattress.

Nick's eyes gaped open and his jaw dropped.

When Nick finally recollected himself, he said, "Wow...wow... I thought-"

Finnick interrupted, "I was...an asshole to you. After our argument, I walked around, feeling angry at myself, and I came across an alleyway with a bunch of linens hanging on clothesline. So I stole them."

Finnick looked down, feeling embarrassed.

Nick on the other hand blushed and felt that same burning sensation again, though calmer than before.

After a few seconds of silence, Nick finally chuckled, "Wow…you're, you're great Finnick."

Finnick started laughing and rolled his eyes, "Hey gotta do what I gotta do to get a decent bed."

"You got that right."

* * *

**-PRESENT-**

Nick got off the bus at his stop and started heading to Finnick's usual spot for his van nearby. His heart pounded as he got closer and closer. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. It wasn't just the nerves, it was excitement. For the first time in what seemed like forever, he was going to see Finnick. All he had to do was turn right into the alley and…

_What the fuck?_

The alley was completely empty except for the dumpster at the end of it and some scattered litter. Nick checked his phone.

_It's only 7:06 in the morning. Finnick wouldn't do a con this early, would he?_

Nick also noticed the ground was devoid of any tire tracks.

_His van hasn't been here for months. What's going on? Where's Finnick?_

Once again, he started to feel that small, incessant voice telling him to let go of this plan, that there was no point, that he was undeserving of seeing Finnick. However, Nick was able to ignore it, as he was still focused on his goal.

He placed his paw under his chin, at a lost of what to do. His whole day revolved around meeting Finnick here, so this put quite a damper on his plans.

After some thought, he reasoned that Finnick might have moved his van to another location. There was nothing unusual about finding a new place to live, Nick certainly did. However, there was one constant in Zootopia, and that was the best spots to scam unsuspecting civilians. He was sure that Finnick would be at one of those spots. So he walked out of the alleyway, and hurried to the first spot he could think of.

* * *

After a 25 minute walk, Nick was at the outer parts of downtown Zootopia, around where Jumbeaux's Cafe, the elephant ice cream shop, was located. This spot was one of Nick and Finnick's favorites to con mammals. The mammals around this area tend to have a lot of money and be more gullible. The perfect crowd for the perfect scam. As Nick walked around the area, he passed by the ice cream shop. Seeing the elephants enjoying their ice cream reminded him of memory involving an elephant onesie.

* * *

**3 YEARS AGO**

Nick handed the elephant onesie to Finnick, "We gotta make sure it fits you."

Finnick's eyes winced, "Are you sure we absolutely need this?

He gave Finnick a sly grin, "I'm positive."

Finnick groaned as he grabbed it from Nick and started putting it on.

Nick was sufficiently entertained as he watched Finnick grumble while putting on the onesie. Once Finnick buttoning up the onesie he said sarcastically, "Ta-da, I'm a fucking elephant."

"A handsome elephant indeed," Nick teased.

Finnick looked at Nick angrily and raised his fist. Nick held up his paws, beckoning Finnick to calm down. Nick thought Finnick looked perfect in the elephant onesie, but he wasn't quite done yet.

"You need to put on the hoodie Finnick."

Finnick's eyes widened, "What!? Now? My ears are going to get fucking cramped inside this thing."

"Come on Finnick," Nick said with fake impatience.

Finnick snarled and put on the hood. He now looked like a full fledged "baby" fox in a cute elephant onesie and Nick loved it. Nick thought it was absolutely adorable, except for the exasperated eyes.

"Finnick, I can see the anger in your eyes."

"Well shit, I wonder why."

"Dude come on, if you cooperate, you can take it off faster."

Finnick let out an overexaggerated sigh and muttered, "Fucking asshole."

He closed his eyes, then like magic, the anger in his eyes were gone, and all Nick could see was the pure innocence of a kid in them.

Nick was taken back by how adorable it was. He was impressive how incredible Finnick's acting talents were. Before he knew it, the anger returned to Finnick's eyes.

"Are we done yet?"

"Not quite yet."  
"What else do I have to fucking do? Stick peanuts in my ass and shoot them out of my fucking trunk?"

"That would be impressive if you could, but no. You have to give me a toot toot."

"A what?"

Nick acted out pulling down a train's horn, "A toot toot."

Finnick crossed his arms, "How the fuck am I supposed to do that."

"All you have to do is blow into the trunk."

"If I do this am I done?"

Nick's put his paw on his chest, "Scout's honor."

Finnick rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and out came a loud toot toot.

Nick could almost cry from the adorable toots.

"It's perfect! Everything's perfect! Good job, kiddo!"

_Major props to Finnick for being so will-_

Finnick walked up to Nick and kicked his left shin.

_Scratch that._

Nick hopped from the pain, "Ow! Jeez! What the shit?"

"That's what you fucking get for making me wear this," Finnick said as he started unbuttoning his onesie.

Nick sat down and started rubbing his shin. He could see as Finnick took off his onesie, it revealed Finnick's sweaty fur and shirt.

Finnick grunted, "Ah shit."

Finnick quickly took off his shirt and threw it away, giving Nick a full view of his bulging pecs, the outlines of his abs, and his strong biceps and triceps.

Nick felt his fur standing, heart pounding, and his cheeks warming up.

_What? Why is my body doing this?_

Finnick looked up at Nick. Nick found himself going stiff and giving a nervous smile. He raised an eyebrow, and then disappeared into the front of the van, looking for a new shirt. Nick let out a sigh of relief as he felt his body return to normal.

_That was... weird._

* * *

**-PRESENT-**

Nick rubbed his chin in confusion, "I was so sure Finnick would be here, but I don't see him anywhere." Nick suddenly started feeling a new sensation in his heart; it felt cold and sharp.

_Maybe he doesn't want to be found by me. He was always so good to us, was I ever good to him?_

He felt chills going down his spine and did his best to ignore this new feeling and the thoughts that came with it.

_I can't give up, there's still one more place we can still check._

With his own encouragement, he headed off to the next location.

* * *

He got off the bus at a stop on the other side of downtown of Zootopia. Right in front of him was Lemmings Brother Bank, where they sold pawsicles right outside of it. He saw a line of lemmings scurrying their way back into the office. He smiled and headed to his right, continuing his search for Finnick. Seeing those tiny bankers reminded him of another memory.

* * *

**2.5 YEARS AGO**

"Another day, another scam done," Nick said happily. Nick and Finnick were at a bench at Central Park, enjoying some pawpsicles from a nearby fox-friendly ice cream store.

Finnick grunted in agreement.

They sat in silence, with the only sounds coming from the licking and slurping of their pawpsicles. They reached a point in their friendship where silence between them was not unwelcome, though sometimes for Finnick, very welcome.

When Nick was nearing halfway done with his pawpsicle, two lemmings bankers passed by them, chattering about the stock market. Nick felt a darkness overtake him as his whole body slump and lowered his popsicle away from his muzzle. His ears dropped and he stared at the ground. A certain memory he hadn't thought about for a long time was coming back to him. He felt himself sinking more into the darkness when he heard Finnick.

"The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Huh what?" Nick said, startled.

"You've been staring at the ground for like 5 minutes, what's wrong?"

_He'll think it's stupid, there's no reason to tell him._

Nick smiled brightly, "Oh, uh nothing. Just admiring the fine cementwork of this park. Top notch quality I must say."

Finnick narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms, "Don't give me that fucking bullshit, what's wrong?"

Nick looked at the Finnick. He saw the chronically angry face that Finnick always puts out in public, but he could see that behind that mask was a concerned friend that wanted to help. Nick felt his heart fluttering. He quickly placed his paw on his chest and looked down, surprised. He looked back at Finnick, and once again his heart fluttered until it settled into a comfortable warmth.

"Nick?"

Nick chuckled, "Heh, nothing's wrong, I just didn't expect a fox who calls me a dumbass in a shitton of ways to care."

Finnick stood up on the bench, an exasperated look on his face. He pulled Nick's collar, bringing his face close to his. Nick's heart skipped a beat. He found this moment strangely scary but thrilling at the same time.

"God, how the fu-, dude, we've been partners for years. I don't know about you, but that means something to me. It means at the very least, we watch out for each other and we have each other's backs. I swear to god, if you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm going to fucking grab your pawpsicle and stab you in the eye with it."

Intimidated, Nick slowly moved his pawpsicle away from Finnick.

Finnick's face relaxed and his eyes softened, "Don't you trust me?"

Nick felt his heart skip a beat once again, then heating up like it was near a fireplace. He liked the feeling, a lot.

With a sad smile, Nick said, "Of course I do. There's no one I trust more than you dude. There's just certain things in the past that are too painful for me to remember."

Finnick replied quietly, "Yeah dude, I understand. I have some like that too. I'm sor-"

Nick interrupted, "But you're right, we have each other's backs and we watch out for each other." Nick then paused before he continued, "So, here it is. Seeing those lemmings reminded me of a stupid dream I used to have. But it's fine, I'm pretty much over it."

He looked away from Finnick, feeling ashamed.

Finnick placed a comforting paw on Nick's shoulder, "You don't have to hide it, I know it still hurts. Pain like that….it doesn't go away easily."

Nick stammered, "I…"

"I know how to read mammals, especially you."

"You don't have to know this, it'll just be a burden."

"Nick," Finnick said compellingly. Finnick had a reassuring look on his face, making Nick blush. For a small fennec fox, Finnick sure had the ability to make Nick want to shrink into a tiny speck of dust sometimes. It made Nick very confused why he was feeling like this.

"You're not a burden to me Nick. Yeah you're stupid and your scams are sometimes annoying, but you're not a burden to me. Ever."

Nick was touched by Finnick's snarky but comforting words, but he was also feeling the full blast of this painful memory as well. He placed his paw on top of Finnick's on his shoulder, and placed it back on Finnick's lap. He then scooted a little away from Finnick, needing some space to think this over. Finnick, looking hurt by the retraction, sat back at his side of the couch, looking down with his arms crossed.

After a long pause, Nick said, "God this is so stupid. But seeing those lemmings, it reminded me of how I wanted to own an amusement park called Wilde Times."

"Wilde Times?"

"Yeah! I mean of course it had the standard rides like the ferris wheel, merry go rounds, and roller coasters, stuff like that. But it would also have attractions based on a species' historical roots. Like there would be a mud pool for pigs and a track with a moving target for the cheetahs to chase. I thought it was one of my best ideas. But…"

Nick paused, looking down at the ground. Finnick stayed quiet, waiting for Nick to continue.

After a good ten seconds, Nick continued, "Well for a project this big, of course I needed a loan. You need money to start the whole operation. I had the whole schematics and logistics ready to present to the bankers. So I went to the Lemmings Brothers and presented this idea to them. And well, they told me straight up it was a horrible idea, and laughed me out of the building. I should've listened to them, but nope I was stubborn, and went more banks. Each one, I was rejected for a loan. It took me 10 banks to realize that...this dream will always just be a dream.

Nick gave Finnick a sly grin.

"And that's how I became the sly fox I am today. My ideas are no good to bring joy and fun to mammals, but they're good to scam them out of their money."

Nick took a deep breath and felt his body settling better. The sting from the disappointment from the memory was still there, but it didn't feel as heavy on him anymore.

"I don't think it's a stupid dream."

Nick rolled his eyes and smirked, "Thanks."

"No, I mean there's nothing stupid about dreaming big. I never would've come up with a dream like that, I always thought...you know, crime was the only thing I could do. But you...you thought otherwise and even if that didn't work out, that's ok. Because I know you'll come up with another great idea and you'll find other ways to break barriers. I guess I'm trying to say is...I believe in you.

Nick felt his tail wagging furiously as his cheeks warmed up.

"Thanks Finnick….thanks for having my back. But like I said, it doesn't matter now, I'm happy where we are now, being a sly fox and all, and with you as my partner and...well my best buddy."

Finnick smiled at him. He looked at down and his eyes narrowed.

He said, "Your pawpsicle is fucking melting."

Nick looked down at his pawpsicle and saw it dripping onto his slacks.

"Shit."

* * *

**-PRESENT-**

_We watch out for each other...We have each other's back...I didn't do that…_

The cold, sharp feeling inside his heart grew stronger as Nick felt this crushing guilt from that memory.

_I am utter shit._

While he was disappointed he couldn't find Finnick here, a small part of him was glad that he didn't.

_He'll never want to see me. Maybe I should just give up. He hates me, why ruin his day by finding him._

With this place being the last spot where they had scams, Nick could only think of one more place that Finnick might be. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to find the motivation to do so. Both his mind and heart were bombarding him with reasons not to do so anymore. He lost the will.

_I should give up, there's no point in this anymore._

However, the burning pain he felt earlier this morning shot through his heart. Nick gasped in pain and collapsed onto his knees. He clenched his chest in hopes it would go away soon. It did. The pain subsided into a comfortable warmth, like from a candle. It fought back the cold, sharp pain he was having earlier, enough for him to muster the will to check one more place.

_Can't give up just yet, just got one more place to go to._

And so Nick got onto the bus, and headed to his next destination: The Vulpines.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick entered The Vulpines and breathed in the musty air, "Ahhh smells just like before." He hadn't been in this bar for the past three years. Nick and Finnick had a long history with this bar. It used to be one of their favorite places to stop by when they wanted a drink. It was notable for being a bar by foxes and for foxes. One of the few safe places for foxes in Zootopia.

When Nick started dating Judy, he hadn't found much reason to come back here. He would make up excuses, like it was too far or Judy wouldn't like this kind of bar. Once entering though, he realized that the main reason he never came back was because he was frightened that he would run into Finnick. He felt his ears droop down a little, ashamed of his fear.

He scanned around the bar, looking for Finnick. He found the bar was mostly empty except for a few stragglers who had nowhere else to go, none of them being Finnick.

Nick felt devastated, this place was his last hope. Now he was unsure how he was ever going to find Finnick. He felt the cold, sharp pain spread throughout his body, telling him to give up and how shitty of a friend he was. He quickly gave into the idea that this was for the best, that he was never meant to find Finnick. He would have to learn how to live with this guilt forever.

Nick checked his phone for the time, it was only 12:40 pm.

_Judy should be home by 6 pm, so that gives me just about 4 hours to drink my sorrows away. Better get started now, wouldn't want to keep my liver waiting._

He sighed and slumped his way to a barstool and placed his head down on the barstand, waiting for a bartender to assist him.

"Well, look who it is, it's the famous Nick Wilde, first fox cop."

Nick peeked up and saw a white arctic fox standing tall right in front of him.

"Wakey, wakey Mr. Cop."

"Oh hey Skye, a shot of whiskey please. And keep them coming."

She smirked at him before she bent down to get a bottle of whiskey.

Skye placed the shotglass in front of Nick's head and poured some whiskey for him. He downed the shot and placed his head down on the barstand again.

"So Nick, I haven't seen you for a few years, and now you're here at...," she glances at the clock, "12:42 in the afternoon?"

"What are you trying to say?" Nick asked.

She chuckled, "Oh you know, just making observations."

"Shouldn't you be helping other customers?" Nick said in an annoyed tone.

"Meh, most of them are probably passed out."

"Shouldn't you be worried?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Anyways, shouldn't you be saving the city from heinous crimes like speeding or parking at a red lane?"

"I got some time off," Nick said curtly.

She teased, "And you're spending it here?"

"What's it to ya? Shouldn't you be happy about another customer?"

"I am...but not because of that. But because I get to see a friend I haven't seen in awhile."

Skye poured another shot for him, and looked at him with a smirk on her face.

Nick rolled his eyes, "Oh no, is this another guilt trip thing you're doing?"

"I'm surprised you haven't downed that shot I poured for ya."

His eyebrows furrowed, annoyed that Skye ignored his question. Alas, he couldn't turn down a blatant offer for alcohol, so he quickly downed the second shot. He then laid his head down once again, hoping she'll take the hint. He just wanted to be left alone so he could sulk and mellow in his own failure and guilt. She did not.

Skye furrowed her eyebrows, trying to come up with her next plan of questioning. A smart and crafty vixen, it didn't take long for her to come up with an idea. Her eyebrows relaxed and a smile appeared on her muzzle.

Skye tapped Nick's head several times, "Hey!"

"What? Did you pour me another shot?" Nick grumbled.

"So how's Finnick doing?"

He raised his head and shrugged, "How the fuck should I know? I'm not his babysitter."

"You played his babysitter sometimes."

He briefly reminisced those memories and smiled for the first time in this bar today, "Heh, those were good times."

Skye leaned down, her arms crossed on top of the barstand, "You guys used to tell me about your cons all the time. You two made good partners."

"We did, but...we both moved on."

Skye poured another shot for Nick and handed it to him, "What happened?"

Nick downed the shot. That third shot let him feel a bit more loose, the walls he built up around him started to break down.

"I abandoned him. I abandoned him for Judy."

She let out a quiet gasp. Her smirk disappeared as her mouth gaped open slightly.

"Oh…shit," she quietly said.

"Yeah, I know, it's bad. I'm a bad mammal."

A worried look appeared on her face, "Nick…don't say that about yourself."

Nick started to raise his voice, "Why shouldn't I? Why fucking shouldn't I?"

Skye stayed silent. Nick took it as a cue to continue his rant.

"What else am I supposed to think? I constantly have this guilt inside me that's eating me alive. I can't stop thinking about how Finnick was a fucking saint to me while I'm a fucking asshole who used him for my own gain. I used him in order to make sure our scams worked out. Then when I found something better with Judy, I left him. I fucking left him. No wait, no, I fucking abandoned him."

Nick sighed, "God I'm such a shithead." He shook his head slightly in disappointment of himself.

Throughout his whole rant, Skye listened intently, hanging onto to every word and observing his every facial expression and body language.

After she was sure he was done, she asked, "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Well I was going to find him and well...basically apologize, but I couldn't find him. It's for the best though. He wouldn't want to see me. I don't deserve to see him either. I give up, I can...I can live with the guilt.

Skye said, "What if...I told you that with a phone call," she pointed at Nick like a gun, "I can find Finnick for you?"

He tilted his head to the left, looking at her incredulously. He wondered how could a bartender find someone with just one phone call. His first instinct was that it was a cruel joke, but that wouldn't be Skye. Whenever Skye offered Finnick or him something in the past, a very rare occasion, they knew she would follow through with it. So yes, even though, it was difficult to believe, he knew he could trust her to find Finnick.

When he was about to ask her to tell him more, he felt his heart freezing under that same cold, sharp pain. He felt voices bombarding him telling him he was worthless, he was full of guilt, and that he was disgusting. They used the memories of Finnick he thought of today to convince him he was undeserving to see FInnick. He was a failure at finding two twin-sized mattress, he forced Finnick to wear the elephant onesie, and he failed to have Finnick's back. He felt this pain transform into a darkness that started spreading throughout his body.

_It's time...to give myself into the guilt._

He then heard another voice.

_No! I won't give up!_

He felt the burning sensation in his heart, but it didn't hurt this time. Instead, it was a welcome comfort that radiated throughout his whole body. He began to realize how familiar it felt, it felt like all the times he was around Finnick. And like that his desire and determination came back.

"Nick? I don't got all day to wait around for you." She took a quick scan around the bar. "Well actually I kinda do, but that's besides the point."

He smiled, "Then I would say, go do your thing."

Skye smirked, "Okay, hold on."

She grabbed her phone and started tapping the buttons to get to her contact.

Before she pushed the final button, she said, "Before I call him, I just want to say, you're not a bad fox. You're just flawed, but who isn't? We've all made mistakes, but what truly makes a mammal good, is someone who tries to fix their mistakes and make the world better. I think that's what you're doing."

She gave him a warm smile and pushed the button to call her contact.

Nick smiled and said, "Tha-"

She held her finger up, "A-buh-buh! I'm on the phone Nick!"

Nick kept his mouth shut and listened to her phone conversation.

"Hey sweetie? I need you to do me a favor."  
She seemed to have an impatient look on her face as her foot started tapping on the ground. Nick guessed the mammal on the other side was being hesitant, and she was not used to that.  
Skye said with more authority, "It's really really important you do this for me."  
She rolled her eyes and smirked at Nick. Nick snickered. From her confidence, Nick knew that mammal was gonna be worn down by her. And soon enough, he was.  
"Oh yay! Thanks! You're the best Jack!"  
"Okay so I need you to find Finnick Fang for me!  
She flashed Nick a reassuring smile. Nick smiled back, feeling a sense of relief and excitement.  
I'll tell you later what it's for! Can you just please do it now?  
He's there? Oh what the fuck? Okay whatever, thank you! I'll talk to you soon! Bye!

Skye hung up the phone, wrote down the address on a piece of receipt paper and handed it to Nick.

Nick looked at the address and his eyes widened.

He looked up at Skye and said, "Are you absolutely sure?"

Skye got close to him and whispered, "Just one of the perks of dating a ZIA agent."

She then stood straight back up, crossed her arms and said, "Isn't it time for you to head out?"

* * *

With urgency, Nick got a Zuuber and headed straight towards the train station. He wanted to make sure that he got on the next train to Zootropolis, so the whole time, he yelled at the bobcat driver to hurry to the train station. After a record time of ten minutes and one very angry bobcat, Nick rushed to buy a ticket, with only minutes to go before his train arrived.

He was on the Zuuber app to give the driver a very generous tip and rating when Judy popped up on his screen with a text.

"Hey! How did it go with Finnick?"

_Oh shit, I forgot to tell Judy where I was heading. She's probably not going to like this._

"Ugh turns out Finnick is at Zootropolis. I gotta take a looooooooooooooong train ride there. Probably will have to spend the night there too now that I think about it. Hope that's okay with you."

Nick awaited her response nervously, twitching his fingers.

"Oh, that's a hassle. Sucks you won't be home tonight, but that also means I get the whole bed to myself! So have fun at Zootropolis for me!

Nick let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Carrots, you the best."

"No worries slick, I know this is important to you. I trust that you'll make the right decisions."

The train sounded out its large horn sound, indicating it was here. Nick stepped in through the train door.

_Yeah, I hope so too._

* * *

Nick stood outside the ice cream shop. It was late into the evening, the shop was in the midst of closing. He studied the ice cream shop closely, inspecting every detail about it. There was only one thing he could conclude, it was perfect.

He saw the creativity and brilliance behind the shop. It was situated near a college campus, whose students of course needs their fix of ice cream no matter what time of day. In fact, there was still a decent stream of young mammals entering the shop. The shop was in a small brick building with a large display window and a bright red and white tarp above the window. It was sure to attract children with its bright colors and older customers nostalgic for the classic ice cream shop during the day. The logo, however, was what impressed Nick the most. It featured a very adorably drawn fennec fox sucking on red pawpsicle, with the words Finicky Treats underneath.

_Finnick has really outdone himself. He created the perfect ice cream shop. And he has really...he really overcame his past and learned how to use his cuteness to sell his brand. It's...it's amazing._

Done inspecting the shop, he was about to enter shop when he had a thought.

_Did I...was I the one holding him back from all this?_

Feeling the warmth in his heart, he remained steadfast towards his goal.

_Well, the least I can do for him is to not hold myself back then._

Nick took a deep breath and walked into the ice cream store. He could see a small line of college students, either taking a break from their studies, having just smoked a joint, or both. At the very front was a glass display of all the different ice cream they had along with other pastries. To his right, he saw a poster on the wall that showed that the red pawpsicle was one of their bestsellers. Nick put his paws on his hips and smiled.

_It was a bestseller back in Zootopia too._

He turned around and there he was. Finnick, at the cash register. A genuine smile on his face as he's talking to a customer while getting her change.

_Wow, he actually looks really happy here._

Right then, he was brought back to one more memory.

* * *

 

**1.5 YEARS AGO (ONE DAY BEFORE THEY MET JUDY)**

Nick was sitting on their bed trying to plan out their pawpsicle scam. He checked his phone for the time; it was 3:02 am. He mentally groaned. It never took him that long to come up with a plan. It was just this one missing puzzle piece that was holding him back from saying this plan is a guaranteed success.

He took a glance at Finnick, who was just lazily lying down by him and staring at the roof. Nick felt bad, he was keeping Finnick up trying to come up with this plan.

He was almost ready to give up, and complained, "This scam with the pawpsicle and you wanting to be an elephant is almost there, a nearly perfect scam! It's just... missing one thing," Nick said. Nick rubbed his chin, trying to keep up the impression that he was still dedicated to figuring this out.

"What is it missing?" Finnick asked.

"I just don't know where we're going to get enough juice to make a shit ton of pawpsicles at a cheap price."

"Why don't we just go to an elephant ice cream bar? We can just buy one of their giant jumbo pops or get someone to buy it for us. Then that's more than enough to make a shit ton of pawpsicles and profit."

Nick faced Finnick, his muzzle agape, "Finnick...you're a fucking genius. I now declare our plan, perfect. All thanks to you Finnick."

Finnick looked away, secretly blushing, "Ahhh shut up, don't patronize me."

Nick smiled, entertained by how embarrassed Finnick would get from praise sometimes. It was one of the things he liked about Finnick. He realized that he actually liked many things about Finnick. With that realization, a vision, a vision of his future with Finnick enveloped him. He saw himself spending late nights with Finnick, laughing and joking around as they plan their next scheme or watch a bad movie together. He saw himself waking up in the mornings right next to Finnick, and kissing him in the head to be his alarm clock. He lastly saw himself lying down on his back, with Finnick right on top, stroking his cheek and laying a kiss on his muzzle.

Nick let out a quiet gasp, realizing his true feelings for Finnick. All the blushing, the sweaty palms, the warmth in his heart. It all meant one thing. He loved Finnick. He always did. He was just too dumb to realize it until….until now.

Overwhelmed with passion, Nick felt like he had to tell Finnick right away.

Nick rested his left paw on Finnick's shoulder, making him turn around surprise.

He gave Finnick a genuine smile and said, "You know, I don't know if I say this enough, but I'm really glad that you're my partner in crime. Let's face it, we're both in a really shitty situation and we both had a pretty shitty past. But you know what? It's okay because I got you. I know with you by my side, nothing can stop us. And that's more than a fox could ever ask for."

Nick suddenly felt shy, and looked down to the ground. The next part of this impromptu speech, a confession of his love, felt much harder to spit out.

_Is it worth it? This could change our friendship forever._

He thought about it, there always had been those moments between the two of them, where there was a bit of awkward tension between them. He never knew why it happened so often, but now looking back, he could see that possibly, that perhaps, Finnick saw him as more than just a friend.

_Finnick has the same feelings as me, he must. That explains all those moments we had with each other. I should tell him. I need to tell him. I have to tell him!_

Right when he was about to speak, Finnick said, "Wow Nick... thanks. Hey I wanted to tell you something too."

Nick looked up, hopeful it was Finnick confessing his love, "Yeah?"

He felt his heart beating rapidly and his paws sweating.

Finnick lightly punched Nick in the arm, "Just wanted to say that was a pretty cheesy speech you had there.

Nick felt his heart deflate.

_Nope, it was nothing. It's never been anything. God I was so dumb to believe...there was something more between us._

Nick smirked, "Heh, shut up dude."

Finnick gave him a smirk back.

* * *

 

**PRESENT**

_I love Finnick._

His eyes widened and his muzzle opened slightly as his heart spoke the truth.

_I still do…_

His heart has always declared it. It was just blocked out by other voices, but this day has shown him the light. He finally, at last, sees the light. That he was absolutely, positively in love with Finnick.

Right then, Finnick finished talking to the customer, and turned towards Nick's direction. Nick saw the look of disbelief on Finnick as he flinched from the sight of Nick. Finnick rubbed his eyes and took another look at Nick, this time, a look of absolute shock.

"Nick?" Finnick said.


	4. Chapter 4

"Nick," Finnick said quietly, "is it really you?"

All eyes were on Nick, waiting for his reply. Usually Nick didn't mind being in the spotlight. His former days as a conman in fact often required him to be in the spotlight, but this time it was different. One pair of those eyes belonged to Finnick. With his heart pounding and his paws sweaty, Nick wasn't the smooth talker he usually was. All he could muster was a nod.

Nick's confirmation caused Finnick to let out a gasp and widen his eyes with disbelief and confusion. Slowly but surely, Nick could see the anger showing on Finnick's face, whether it be his gritted teeth or his sharp eyebrows. Nick gulped in response. However, as Nick looked harder, he could see the deep sadness behind Finnick's anger. He realized that his own presence might've brought up painful memories for Finnick and started to question if he should've come or not.

Nick's thoughts were interrupted when Finnick gave him a stern look and said, "Come into the back with me Nick."

Finnick turned to one of his employees and asked her to watch the cash register. Meanwhile, Nick stayed where he was, his body frozen with fear. He was unaware of all the customers' eyes on him. All he could see was Finnick's fury and was petrified about what he was going to do to him.

He unfroze when Finnick turned back to Nick and grunted, "Come on Nick!"

Nick finally did what he was told and briskly walked into the back with Finnick, ignoring all the eyes following his every movement.

He followed Finnick through the kitchen into the supply closet. In the barely lit room were shelves that lined around the walls, filled with equipment and raw materials. Finnick sat on a bag of flour and looked at Nick, standing as stiff as a board.

His anger subsided for now, Finnick sighed and asked, "So…why the fuck are you here?"

Nick's mind went a million miles an hour, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say. Seconds passed and he realized he had been silent for too long. He tried to talk but his throat went dry.

Nick stammered, "I…uh…"

Finnick rolled his eyes, "Okay, how about, how the fuck did you know where I was? I told no one where I was going."

Nick felt his cheeks growing warm. He looked down sheepishly as his tail swished left and right. He couldn't come up with a good answer that didn't make him sound like a crazy stalker.

Finnick gritted his teeth, "Jesus fucking Christ Nick, I don't get it! Who do you think you are, that after walking out of my life for…for 2 years, you think you can just come back in like that? I swear to fucking g-

Nick blurted out, "I'm sorry!"

Finnick raised an eyebrow, "Wh-what?"

Nick took a deep breath, allowing his heart to relax a little and for him to regain focus.

He said calmly, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry for everything, for all the sadness and pain I caused in your life.

He felt his confidence coming back and slowly walked towards Finnick. He kneeled down to Finnick's eye level and placed both of his paws cautiously but tenderly onto Finnick's shoulders. He looked at Finnick for consent, who gave it with a slight nod.

Nick looked into Finnick's eyes and continued, "You never deserved to be treated this way. You had always been a great partner and a great friend. You did nothing wrong. I am and have always been in the wrong."

Nick's ears drooped and he looked to the side, ashamed of his past actions. The shame he felt was almost enough to bring him to tears

Nick took a deep breath and shakily said, "Please believe me when I say I never meant to make it seem like I was manipulating you. I wasn't. I...truly valued our friendship, you were my best bud. I just…," Nick winced as he remembered the rejection and hurt he felt that day before the pawpsicle scam. The day when Finnick teased him for calling him his best friend, right before he was about to confess his love.

"I was just hurt," Nick softly said, "but that doesn't excuse what i did!" NIck quickly shouted afterwards.

Nick placed his right paw on Finnick's left cheek who almost instinctively rubbed it against his paw.

"My greatest desire would…" _(be to kiss you)_ "...just for us to at least be talking again. I missed you, I missed you so much. Life feels so much emptier without you. So I hope...I really hope you can forgive me for what I did. But if you cannot, then...I understand."

Throughout the apology, Finnick looked at Nick, his eyes sparkling and fully focused on Nick's eyes. He seemed almost enthralled when Nick was speaking. However, when Nick finished speaking, the sparkle went away and the sadness returned in Finnick's eyes. He removed Nick's paws from his body and gently pushed Nick away. Nick took a few small steps back and put his paws behind his back, unsure if he did something wrong.

"Look Finnick, I-"

Finnick put his paw up, "Just stop man. Please. Just give me some time right now to just...process everything you said." Finnick laid on his back with his paws behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

Nick nervously stared at Finnick, waiting for him to say something. To pass the time, he replayed the apology in his head and tried to analyze whether he said enough or not. As he looked into the scene more though, he started focusing more on how the chemistry was sparking between Finnick and him. He was sure that there was something between them. However, when he now looked at Finnick, he didn't see a fennec fox in love with a red fox. He saw a fennec fox hurt and confused by a red fox. Once again, Nick wondered if he just made things worse.

With just a few minutes of silence passing by, Nick grew impatient and assumed the worst.

He turned around and said, "You know what...this was a mistake, I shouldn't have come. I'll just...I'll just see my-"

Finnick interrupted, "Shut the fuck up."

Nick turned back to Finnick and saw a smirk on Finnick's face. In addition, Nick saw the hurt in his eyes had gone away.

Finnick teased, "I forgot how much you talked."

Finnick walked towards Nick, motioning Nick to kneel down. Nick did so, and Finnick held his paws.

"Thanks, thanks for all that." Finnick said with a genuine smile.

Nick couldn't help but smile back as well.

Finnick then looked down, trying to avoid any form of eye contact with Nick. Nick looked closely and he could see little drops of sweat going down Finnick. It made him chuckle to see Finnick trying to hide his embarrassment. He was still just adorable as he remembered. Nick started to feel his guilt about abandoning Finnick strip away, leaving behind was the great love he had for Finnick.

Nick's tail stiffened up as he felt Finnick now squeezing his paw. He looked at Finnick who was just still looking away from Nick.

"I think we should try catching up so…," Finnick's cheeks started getting warm, "let's go get a drink?"

Nick's heart swelled up, "Yeah…l'd like that."

* * *

 

After closing up shop, Finnick and Nick walked down the street, heading to Finnick's favorite bar.

Finnick said enthusiastically, "The Carnivulpes is a fucking awesome bar! It's like the Vuplines in that it's owned by foxes, but it's different in that it actually has good fucking beer."

Nick chuckled, "Heh, it's not like we had much choice other than the Vulpines back in Zootopia."

"Yeah, fucking Christ, I feel like barfing just thinking about the beer in the Vulpines. It was either piss or if we're lucky, backwash."

Nick laughed.

Finnick asked, "Have you been there lately, how's Skye?"

"Yeah dude, I just went today. She's doing well, she's dating someone in the ZBI."

"Whoa! What!? How did that happen?"

Nick shrugged, "She has connections."

"Yeah she does. Never underestimate her I guess."

"Relying on her never failed us, especially when uh…"

Finnick looked at Nick confused, raising an eyebrow.

_Shit! Is it too awkward to bring up our past partnership now? Shit I'm a dumbass!_

"Anyways," Finnick said, trying to break the awkward tension, "Tell me all about being a copper now."

Though there were still a few awkward moments in the rest of their conversation to the bar, Nick felt his nerves calming down as they continued talking. It felt like the good ol' days for Nick to be able to chat and joke around with Finnick. While there were still definitely some walls to break down, he was already starting to feel that close friendship he had with Finnick, and that was enough to make him grin from ear to ear.

"What's with that dumbass smile on your face?" Finnick teased.

"You would be this happy too if you had a face as good-looking as mine," Nick countered.

* * *

 

Nick was enthralled once they entered the bar. It still had the nostalgic feel of a dive bar, but it was much more modern. It had more of a younger crowd, the furnishings were new and sleek, and the displays of beer and liquor selection was at the very least impressive. Finnick directed them towards a booth and they sat down on opposite sides.

"Goddamn Finnick, you were right, this is definitely quite an upgrade."

"This is what happens when I rely on conning mammals through legal means rather than questionable means."

They both chuckled.

"Yeah so I've been meaning to ask, how did you start business? Your ice cream business looks fucking awesome and you still had customers late into the night!"

Finnick rolled his eyes, "Dude you don't want to listen to that boring shit."

Nick leaned in forward and smiled, "No, my little fennec friend, I actually do."

Nick still knew Finnick well enough to see that he was hiding his excitement and happiness that he wanted to know all about his business.

Finnick said, "Well if you say so…"

And so Finnick told how the idea of having an ice cream store came from their pawpsicle scam. Building around that idea, he began thinking of all the different aspects that would make his business successful. Coming up with the location and design was relatively simple for him. The hardest part was finding the money to fund it.

"Did you whore yourself out to the fine mammals of Zootropolis on the streets?" Nick teased.

"Shut up!" Finnick barked.

Finnick had some money saved up from previous cons, but it only covered half of the costs. He knew from Nick's experience that banks were unlikely to give him a loan, so he went directly to loan sharks at the shadier parts of Zootropolis.

Nick said, "You what? Dude! That's...loan sharks shouldn't be messed with!"

Finnick shrugged while sipping his third bottle of beer.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

Finnick flatly said, "At the time, it was pretty much an all or nothing kind of thing for me. I didn't exactly have anyone to back me up.

Nick said, "Oh, sorry. I just...I guess I thought of the worst that could happen, and well...I don't know what I would've done if something happened to you."

Finnick made a guilty look and rubbed the back of his head with his paw, "Ahh Nick, don't be fucking like that."

"Ahh, I'm just being overemotional, you can ignore me."

"Nah Nick, it's fine. I actually like that trait about you."

Nick felt tickled inside, but did his hardest to fight back the absolutely natural instinct to smile and blush at such a cute comment.

Finnick concluded the story by briefly overviewing how his store has been going so far. He was surprised that on the first day, he already had huge lines of mammals, many of them college students, waiting for his ice cream. The excitement had died as the months passed by but he was able to maintain a sufficient loyal fanbase.

Finnick said, "Yeah, so I guess now that I think about it, none of this would've happened if you hadn't thought about that pawpsicle con."

"Nah dude, you're a smart fox, you would've come up with another idea just as brilliant if not better."

Finnick smiled, "Thanks man, appreciate that."

Finnick then asked, "How are you and Judy doing?"

Nick almost spit out his beer. His attention had been completely on Finnick for the past few hours, he completely forgot about Judy. He felt guilty; he felt like he was being a bad boyfriend, He had been talking with and affectionately touching Finnick, a not-so-formerly crush of his. Yet, this guilt felt much more superficial than the deep, burning guilt he had for Finnick earlier this day. He knew intellectually that he shouldn't be doing these things, but yet his heart felt nothing about it.

He looked up at Finnick, who was starting to have a bit of a puzzled look.

_But why is it when I look at Finnick, my heart screams his name? Why is it that everything about him feels...feels so right?_

Finnick then said, "Dude sorry, I guess it's a touchy subject for you?"

Nick waved his paws wildly in front of him, "No! No! No, it's fine."

Nick crossed his arms against his stomach, "It's just...I guess I just realized it's a bit more complicated than I thought."

Finnick cocked his head to the side, "Huh? But dude last time I saw you, you two were…," it seemed to pain Finnick a little to say this, "were in love. Did something happen?"

_You did._

"No, nothing happened. We're still together and she's great, she's really great in a lot of ways. I really like her, but..."

Nick didn't quite want to tell Finnick about his feelings for him, no matter how much his heart demanded it. It seemed too soon and too inappropriate right now. They had just met after two years after all.

"But I guess...maybe I don't actually love her."

Finnick looked at Nick carefully, he then said, "I'm sorry dude, hey man, we can change the subject if you want. I shouldn't have pried any further."

Nick said, "No man, it's fine. Ask me anything else, I'm sure I can answer that better."

Nick smirked and placed a paw on his chest, "Scout's honor."

Finnick smirked back and said, "Fine then, tell me how you found me."

Nick froze.

_Couldn't keep my big fucking muzzle shut, huh. Even had to do the scout's honor bit._

Nick said, "Man you are really grilling me today huh?"

Finnick took a sip of his beer and chuckled, "Dude, I won't judge. To be honest, I'm actually a little impressed."

Nick's ears perked up, "Really? Impressed? I thought you were creeped out."

Finnick said, "Yeah I was before, but you haven't been that fucking creepy the rest of the time, so just tell me."

Nick still felt reluctant to tell Finnick, until Finnick said, "Don't worry dude, you're still my best bud no matter what."

Nick felt his heart melting, he was willing to do anything this little fennec fox told him to do.

He started off, "Heh, well honestly I was really lucky."

Nick then proceeded to recount in detail about his adventures earlier today. Finnick listened intently to Nick, only interrupting to ask for more details. There were a few times when Finnick laughed, mostly at Nick's failures, and one time he screamed, "What the fuck," in astonishment when he learned how Skye helped him. Nick noticed that throughout the story, Finnick started to smile more and more as he learned about Nick's dedication and efforts to find him just to apologize.

Nick chuckled nervously, "So yeah heh, I hope I don't sound like a fucking creeper. You could just say that I was a mammal on a mission that was just a bit crazy and creepy."

Finnick smirked, "Despite how it sounds, you fucking insane bastard, I'm really glad you did it."

Nick felt his cheeks warming up, "Really?"

Finnick still chuckling, "Yeah Nick, it's been really nice to see you."

Finnick then set down his bottle, in a more somber tone, he said, "I really missed you man. Like a lot. There hasn't been a fucking day where I don't think about you."

Nick said, "Finnick…"

Finnick continued, "Look when I first moved here, it was...really difficult for me. There would be nights that I would just get so mad at you. Then there would be nights where I would just be sobbing. Then there would be nights that I just sat on my bed and wallowed in my own loneliness. I fucking hated those nights man."

Nick's heart went out for Finnick, he knew he had to comfort him somehow. He got up from his seat, and walked over to Finnick's side on the booth to sat down. He wrapped his right arm around Finnick and kissed him on the top of his head. Finnick was touched and surprised by his actions, hugged Nick's right side and remained at that position. Nick gently pet Finnick's head as he continued to talk.

"I tried really hard to forget you, to not think about you every day. And it worked to a certain point, you didn't keep me up at nights anymore. But you never went away. You never did, and I hated that. That despite all the pain you put me through, at the end of the day, it still felt like there was still someone missing in my life.

Finnick looked up at Nick with tears coming down his face. Nick felt his heart swelling up and felt this great desire to kiss Finnick, hoping it'll make him feel better. However, he felt his mind telling him to resist as he still belonged to Judy. Nick instead tenderly wiped his tears with his finger. Finnick responded with a smile and a quiet thanks.

"Just seeing you at my store for the first time in two years, it brought up some painful memories that I repressed. But this is also the happiest I've been since coming here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I…I….," Finnick looked down, "no I shouldn't say."

Nick's heart couldn't handle it more. He had to kiss the Finnick, no matter what his mind said.

Finnick let out a quick gasp when Nick gently placed his paw under his chin and brought it up so he was facing Nick. Nick's nose gently touched Finnick's.

Nick then quietly said, "I love you too Finnick."

He then kissed Finnick. It was a gentle, short kiss, but in that moment of time was when their hearts fully connected for the first time. It was the best feeling that both had ever felt in their lifetimes.

Nick then leaned back, but still kept a close distance, their noses still touching.

For a few seconds, they just stared into each other's eyes, neither one making a single movement. Then suddenly, Finnick jumped onto him, causing him to fall onto his back.

With a mischievous grin, Finnick said, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment."

Before Nick could respond, Finnick grabbed his face, and planted his mouth into Nick's. He repeatedly gave Nick deep and passionate kisses which Nick would wholeheartedly reciprocate. This was the moment that they've both dreamed of for a long time, and they hoped that it would never end. Unfortunately, it was interrupted when a nosy, anteater waitress passed by.

The waitress teased, "Jeez you two, get a room."

They leaned back from each other, heavily breathing and smiling widely.

Nick said, "We should've done this way earlier."

Finnick said, "Fuck yeah, we should've."

"Wanna continue this somewhere else?"

"My van is just a block away."

Nick gave him a surprised look, "You still live in your van?"

Finnick said, "Yeah, is that a problem?"

Nick picked up Finnick and said, "Nope, not at all."

They both threw some money onto their table, then Nick carried Finnick out of the bar, with Finnick laughing the whole time.


End file.
